Santeria
by waitressinacocktailbar
Summary: Blaine has been a little lonely without Kurt. What if Kurt flew to Lima instead? A weird, twisted take on Blaine's cheating
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Santeria is an amazing song by Sublime. Lines in bold are the lyrics, while those italicized are the characters' thoughts.**  
**_

**I don't practice Santeria**  
**I ain't got no crystal ball**  
**Well, I had a million dollars but I, I'd spend it all**

Blaine was never one to not answer his phone. It was practically attached to him like an extra limb which is why Kurt fidgeted and paced back and forth in his room, hoping that Blaine would call back anytime soon. _Maybe he's just asleep, or bathing for crying out loud. There's a million reasons why he couldn't pick up or call back._

Kurt busied himself by turning his laptop on, checking out some of his friends' walls and see what they've been up to recently. It's been at least 2 months since he moved to New York, and since joining he's never had much time to look at Facebook, call home, reply to texts – including Blaine's and while he misses his friends, his family – he knows that deep down inside they are all happy for him. They all know he's fulfilling a lifelong dream, and nothing will stand in his way . Family will always be there. Friendships always stand the test of time. Blaine will always understand.

But Kurt misses Blaine. He knows he's ignored him one too many times and he feels guilty but ends up forgetting even that when he's loaded with so much work and Isabelle expects so highly of him. He can't miss a step this early in the game, he needs to plant his feet on solid ground so nothing can sway him easily. Blaine is strong, Blaine is smart, Blaine is forgiving and since it was Blaine who pushed him to move to New York anyway – Blaine knows that this is how it was bound to happen.

**If I could find that Heina, and that Sancho that she's found**  
**Well I'd pop a cap in Sancho & I'd slap her down**

It's been 2 hours since he last sent Blaine a message and got no replies yet. The guilt comes back, thinking that this must be exactly what Blaine feels every single time he sends Kurt a message, and Kurt not even bothering to send a quick reply, or sometimes even read it at all. He always tells himself he will when he gets home, but the moment he steps in the apartment, most of his time is spent listening to Rachel's Cassandra issues or how much she misses Finn that the only time he spends alone is when he's enjoying a warm bath. But once his body touches the bed – he shuts down automatically. That's how Blaine's messages all get ignored.

_It's not like I intentionally ignore them_, Kurt tries to reason with himself.

_This is ridiculous. _Kurt glanced at the clock again. He's pretty updated now with the lives of his McKinley friends and has had enough rest it starts to wear him down. He asked for 2 days off and while Isabelle was generous enough to let him, he didn't plan on waiting some more to see Blaine. He needs his boyfriend for every reason imaginable and he needs him now.

_Where in the goddamn world could Blaine be?_


	2. Chapter 2

**What I really wanna know, my baby, mmmm...**

**What I really wanna say I can't define**

**Well it's love, that I need. Ohh...**

It was only until after Kurt left for New York when Blaine realized how much time they've spent together – after class, weekends, sometimes even between classes and glee rehearsals. His schedule always had Kurt in it: movie with Kurt, dinner with Kurt, tutoring Kurt, shopping with Kurt, everything. So when Kurt left, Blaine tried his best to fill the void he left by joining a million clubs at school, and running for senior class president.

And he won, big thanks to Brittany's "I love you" speech and Sam's stripper moment on the stage. Since then, since Sam told him to lose the bow tie – Blaine's perspective on things changed a little. Being perfect is no longer a requirement. You can be messed up and crooked and still be successful. Blaine no longer had to be strong, Blaine didn't need to make smart decisions all the time, Blaine can hold a little resentment and Blaine can now be a little selfish for himself.

After all, what did being a supportive boyfriend get him? Nothing but his own hand palming himself during cold, lonely nights.

Blaine felt like he reached the end of the rope when Kurt called him a few days ago. It took him by surprise, considering that sometimes it takes Blaine 30 calls to get Kurt to answer his calls, if he even notices them at all. So when Kurt called him this time, he hoped they'd get to talk longer, he was so excited he didn't even realize that he greeted Kurt with a dry and bitter 'hello stranger,' because that's who Blaine has now become – still dapper, still smart, still collected – but now a little more unafraid to say what he really feels.

So imagine his frustration and anger when he receives that call from Kurt just as lunch period ended, so decided to skip class in favor of talking to his boyfriend. But Kurt won't stop talking about how busy he is, how a million phones are ringing around him, and how Kurt would rather talk to someone with all the juiciest gossip about people Blaine doesn't even know about.

Imagine Blaine's pain when his heartfelt 'I love you' was met by a flat, cold, monotonous dial tone.

_Oh gee Kurt, much thanks for calling me to tell me you're busy, _an annoyed Blaine thinks. _I'm done being understanding, I'm done being ignored and I'm done being pathetic. _Blaine settles in the empty choir room, waiting for the next period when he contemplates posting a hurt, resentful status on Facebook that'll launch a direct hit against Kurt.

_If Kurt even sees it, you dumbass. _Blaine scrolls through his friends list instead, looking for anyone who might be free for the day since Blaine has no more energy to keep up with the next few classes. He stops on Eli – a guy he met on the Lima Bean when he was still reminiscing about all the times he spent there with Kurt. Blaine was used to guys hitting on him and dropping subtle hints, sometimes not as subtle as Blaine hoped them to be (Sebastian) but Eli is more than that. Eli is smart, funny, has the best teeth ever. If Blaine wasn't preoccupied with Kurt too much he might have given himself enough time to realize that he was actually attracted to Eli.

_If you think you can ignore me, Kurt. You're not the only one._ He pokes Eli on Facebook, and seconds later comes running a series of messages which end up with Blaine leaving McKinley grounds, walking towards what he'll never know as the biggest mistake of his life.


	3. Chapter 3

**My soul will have to, wait till I get back, find a Heina of my own**  
**Daddy's gonna love one and all**  
**I feel the break, feel the break, feel the break and I gotta live it up**  
**Oh, yeah, uh huh**  
**Well I swear that I..**

For some unknown reason, Blaine wasn't nervous as he stepped out of the elevator leading to Eli's unit. He didn't care if anyone saw him enter the building, he didn't even bother disguising himself with a hat (though that would've messed his hair up - not sexy at all), or dress differently (anyone would've recognized him with those folded pants and sockless shoes). He felt that sneaking out would mean he's guilty of what he's doing. And he was definitely not.

He takes one big breath before knocking on the door. _You have to forget about Kurt the moment you step in. You are alone, you are single, you are wanted. You're just getting what you need. What you deserve._

Eli greets him with the sexiest smile ever, his hair a little disheveled and nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Blaine steps in, and he feels like he's in another world. That this is not Lima, Ohio or the United States or any god-forsaken place where Kurt Hummel exists. It's a different world that's detached from the real one and there is no right or wrong, no such thing as immorality or cheating or whatever words he used to accuse Kurt of.

Eli hands a bottle of cold beer to Blaine, who eagerly accepts – knowing how loose he gets when he's a little tipsy. Eli excuses himself for a quick shower, while Blaine finishes the bottle and looks around the room – the bare, pastel walls, the soft, bouncy couch, a bean bag in the middle, a king-sized, fluffy bed. At the back of his mind, he's much more excited than what he's willing to admit. It's as if the whole place was made for fucking.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and turns it off right away. Classes were almost over, which means glee will start soon and he didn't need Tina or Artie or Marley or Sam calling him to check where he was. He didn't bother checking if he had any messages either. All his friends were at school, his parents never texted, Cooper was somewhere shooting another commercial, and he was pretty sure Kurt would've forgotten he had a boyfriend by now.

Eli steps out, his chest glistening with droplets of water highlighted by the afternoon sun. Blaine smirked at him, feeling a little lighter and craving for more beer. He asks for it and Eli returns with 2 bottles. They drink, chat for a bit – Blaine's inhibitions dropping one by one as he learned more about Eli. A year older than Blaine (just like Kurt), likes fashion and expensive clothes (like Kurt), mom died when he was young (Kurt), and a million other things that make him just like Kurt. But there's one thing that sets him apart – Eli's here, Kurt's not.

_He also doesn't need 3 days to respond to a single text message._

So, Eli asks him to do the same. He talks about school, about the singing, the Warblers, even as far as the bullying back before Dalton. Eli understands, because he's gone through that too. But Blaine doesn't talk about Kurt. He's pretty sure Eli knows about him since his facebook wall is all about missing Kurt, or photos of him and Kurt, or Blaine posting on Kurt's wall where it's just Rachel or Mercedes replying. His profile is just full of Kurt you'd be surprised to learn it's actually Blaine's.

"I don't know, Blaine.." Eli's tone changed. A little deeper, huskier than the usual – maybe it's the alcohol too. "..I remember you told me when we met that you had a boyfriend. Is this what this is all about? I mean, I really, really like you and all but.."

Blaine shuts him up with a quick kiss as he lets his body move on its own. "I'm lonely, Eli." He breathlessly whispers. "So let me be stupid and unreasonable, just for tonight."


	4. Chapter 4

**What I really wanna know, ahh baby.**  
**What I really wanna say I can't define, got love make it go.**  
**My soul will have to...**

Two hours and four orgasms later, Blaine decides to take a shower.

His alcohol and sex-induced haze all evaporated instantly at the contact of ice cold water on his skin. It all dawned on him at that moment – what had just happened, and what it means for him and Kurt's relationship.

_Oh that's right. I have a boyfriend. _Blaine waited for his inner voices to wage a war against himself while shampooing his hair, but just like a reply from Kurt on one of his text messages – there was none. Blaine smiled to himself, even his moral compass was tired it didn't even start an internal conflict. _Either that or it's satisfied with what just happened._

He finishes the bath in peace, and wears the same set of clothes he wore when he arrived. _They weren't worn much anyway. _And then he walks back to the bedroom, to a smiling Eli who's probably just as satisfied as he was, lying in bed looking exactly how he left him.

"That was awesome babe." _God, his teeth look even better after sex._

Blaine doesn't respond immediately, for right even before this all started he already knew how it was going to end. He just smiled sheepishly – just like how he smiled when Kurt paid him compliments, or when Kurt asked him as his date for the prom, or when Kurt gave him flowers when he easily bagged the role that Kurt so desperately wanted. _Oh my god just stop it Blaine Anderson okay?_

Eli sits up and puts on his boxers that Blaine remembers pulling off just minutes earlier. He lightly shakes his head and walks towards Eli, who makes space for him as he sits on the edge of the bed.

"You know how these things go, right?" Blaine asks Eli, his voice deeper and more serious.

Eli smiles and leans his head on the headboard. "For the record, you are currently at the top of my list." They share a hearty laugh, and in an instant they're back to what they were not more than 2 months ago – total strangers who've never met each other.

Blaine nods and bids Eli goodbye – without a kiss or a hug because strangers don't hug, do they? He walks out of the building the same way he came in – head high and with not a doubt in his mind that he was wrong.

So just as before, he comes home to an empty house with no signs of life in it. He picks up an apple and he jogs up the stairs, his footsteps the only audible sound as he walks to his room at the end of the hall. _That's weird, Nana did not turn the lights off._

So when Blaine entered the room, his world stopped at the sight of someone he should have been so happy and eager to see. But to be honest, right now he wasn't.

It was Kurt Hummel.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ooooo...**  
**What I really wanna say, mah baby.**  
**What I really wanna say is I've got mine, and I'll make it, oh yes I'm coming up.**

Blaine's lips, Blaine's hands, Blaine's fingers, Blaine's smile, Blaine's touch. All of Blaine that Kurt has longed to get a hold of for months is standing right here in front of him. But for some reason, Blaine's eyes are a little less glassy, with a little less sparkle and with a little less life in them. Kurt sighs, and instead of the oh-so-romantic reunion that played in his mind for the hours he waited here, it was replaced by a shockwave of guilt – as if everything that he tried to ignore and push aside decided to come back and slap him hard on the face.

Blaine noticed the change in Kurt's expression, and could already sense what he was feeling. He reached out to hold his hand and pulled him closer, pulled their mouths in a needy kiss that wasn't like any of what he and Eli shared earlier. _Funny, Eli just seems like a distant memory now. _

Kurt sighs into the kiss, hot tears falling rapidly as he promises to himself never to ignore again this boy in front of him who still loves him despite everything. The kissing turns to groping, with roaming hands that have missed the other's body running through familiar paths, taking off clothes and the raw sound of skin slapping against skin, hot, sweaty bodies pounding and grinding against each other. And in an instant, all the guilt and sadness was brushed aside with overflowing pleasure as Kurt and Blaine joined as one to form _here and now,_ where there is no Lima or New York – no college or high school – where they are both present and will always be there for each other.

Blaine instantly falls asleep, too drained to keep up with Kurt's stories of Vogue and their apartment and how much he's excited to have Blaine join them soon. Kurt rests his head on Blaine's chest, bare and smooth as it rises and ebbs steadily. Kurt knows that making time for Blaine especially while at work will be ridiculously hard no matter how simple it sounds. And though Kurt knows that Blaine will always understand, just as he always does – Kurt knows it's just a matter of time before Blaine gives up and leaves him for someone he can call anytime and be what he needs.

_I think I'm gonna die if ever that happens._

The morning after, Blaine momentarily panics when he can't feel his right arm. He tilts his head slightly to find a peacefully sleeping Kurt, head on his arm and his cheeks streaked with dry tears. He slowly holds Kurt's head with his left hand to a pillow, and pulls his right arm back and stretches.

He gets off the bed – slowly and gently to avoid waking the sleeping boy beside him. He needs this time to think and decide what needs to be done. _Should I tell him? 'I was lonely, I needed you and you weren't there?' Do I need to tell him and does he even need to know?_

Kurt shifts a little, already feeling Blaine missing beside him as he opens his eyes to find him looking out the window, the morning sun glistening against his olive skin. Blaine's so deep in thought that he doesn't notice Kurt getting off the bed to give him a hug from behind.

Again, Blaine expects to feel remorse, guilt, or just pure adoration for _his Kurt_ who flew miles to be with him again. Blaine didn't feel any of those, and he was honestly shocked to realize it himself.

He was annoyed.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: one more chapter to go - thank you all for your wonderful feedback! :)_

**Tell Sanchito that if he knows what is good for him he best go run and hide.**  
**Daddy's got a new Forty-Five.**  
**And I won't think twice to stick that barrel straight down Sancho's throat.**  
**Believe me when I say that I got somethin' for his punk ass.**

It's not that Blaine doesn't love Kurt anymore. He still does so very much, but Kurt's sudden reappearance is not making things any easier. Just when Blaine thought he could use some time to learn to be independent, be his own person – Kurt then pops out of nowhere and showers him with so much attention that Blaine knew he would crave for again once things went back to normal.

And sometimes, Blaine would be too ashamed to admit even to himself that he was tired of being noticed only under others' shadows. He wanted to be Blaine, known for his own talent and not just being half of the gay couple from McKinley, or the brother of the guy from the credit rating commercial. But Kurt returning only validated that fact, slapping him hard in the face - of how empty he feels by himself, how he's always never enough and how he only feels whole when he's with Kurt. He's annoyed, yes - but not with Kurt. He's annoyed with himself he feels inadequate to even make himself happy.

So to prevent himself from being a miserable mess (again) once Kurt leaves, Blaine tries to act a little coldly, a little less interested with what Kurt has to say. Blaine knows it will hurt Kurt – but he also knew that it wouldn't take long for Kurt to become preoccupied again. Though the last thing he knows he wants is to intentionally ignore Kurt – right now he needs to be a little self-preservative too.

It was Sunday, and they were in the Lima Bean seated at their usual table, sipping their usual orders – but this time it's Kurt who says "I love you" first, and it's Blaine who freezes and almost chokes on his coffee before saying it back.

They say it again, later that afternoon as Blaine gives Kurt one last kiss before dropping him off the departure area. They say their goodbyes, as Blaine lingers a little more to see Kurt fade through the glass doors and security scanners until all he sees are people like him – fighting the tears in their eyes and no one beside to come home with. Blaine drives and drives – the loneliness already building up but no longer as paralyzing. He knows he was the one who wanted Kurt to be his own person, who told Kurt it's his time, asked Kurt to try New York – and it would be too unfair for Blaine to hold Kurt back just because he was lonely or had no one to talk to. _People grow, Blaine. Maybe it's time you do the same._

Thousands of feet in the air, Kurt wished he never left Lima at all. _It's true they say – you don't know what you got till it's gone. _The little things that Blaine did or said drove Kurt crazy – and to be honest he was baffled to realize how he could even be more in love with that boy. The plane lands, texting Blaine to let him know – and they exchange messages of "I love you's" and "I miss you already's," and then Kurt's back in his empty apartment. A note from Rachel says that she'll be back late as she's out with Brody.

_"I wish I could pause some parts of my life – put New York on hold and live with you until you graduate and come to New York." Kurt recalls telling Blaine before getting off the car._

_Blaine gave Kurt his usual "don't do that" look, pulling him to a soft, lingering kiss – one they wouldn't be having for a long time. Blaine said a million things through that kiss – how he wants Kurt to pursue his dreams no matter what it takes, how proud he is of Kurt, how Blaine will try hard to be strong until they're together again – and.. _

Blaine knows, that maybe one day he will find the courage to tell Kurt the truth. Maybe one day he'll fly to New York when he's strong enough to admit what weakling he was. Maybe Blaine will tell Kurt everything that really happened.

A humorless laugh escaped his lips. Or maybe he won't.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: This is the last chapter guys. Thanks everyone for your feedback! :)_

**What I really wanna know, mah baby.**  
**Ooh What I really wanna say is there's just one, way back and I'll make it, yeah.**  
**My soul will have to wait, yeah, yeah, yeah**.

EPILOGUE

In retrospect, Blaine Anderson knew he was right in more ways than one.

It was just like any other Sunday morning, the sun providing just enough warmth as spring starts to make its presence felt. Blaine was sitting in the exact same table he and Kurt used to frequent, but now no longer feels the loneliness or longing that he used to, months ago.

This was also where he sat when he first met Eli, in the middle of daydreaming about Kurt and the life they would have in New York together. That day when Blaine let his wounded pride take over and let his hormones have their way.

But Blaine was right, he knew that not telling Kurt was probably for the better, knowing that he probably would not want to know either, had Kurt done the same.

He was also right, that the guilt wouldn't last long. He knew that Kurt already had a million things to worry about, and a cheating boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend, if it doesn't go well) would be the worst distraction from his path to success. Blaine learned his lesson, end of story.

He was also right that his distance would pull Kurt back to him. Little by little, Blaine learned to make good use of his time – with or without Kurt. He knew that he was his own best friend, boyfriend, and he had everything he needed to be happy and content by himself. It's just a matter of time before he joins Kurt and Rachel in New York anyway.

"Hey gorgeous, is this seat taken?"

Blaine looks up to an unbelievably good-looking guy in front of him. Legs longer than Sebastian's, teeth even whiter than Eli's. Blaine wanted to laugh – it's like this scene is replayed over and over, but a different character plays the pursuer every time. With one look Blaine knew that these types of guys were the ones who'd get you screaming all night, asking for more.

Blaine scooped his bag from the chair beside him. "No," he finally answers, gesturing the guy to take the seat. He then flashes his bashful-schoolboy smile that always drives them crazy.

"..Not anymore." Then he picks up his own bag, stands up and walks away.

END


End file.
